My journey from sad to Chad.

My diet didn't get any more strict lol. Had a work lunch today and we got chinese buffet, I ate mostly meat and a small amount of noodles but I ate a lot of pork, chicken and shrimp. a free Chinese buffet is something I have a hard time saying no to but it's no big deal it's not like I'm competing I just want to look and feel good and there's nothing wrong with enjoying a delicious meal once in awhile. 232.6 this am. I bet I'll be 235 or more tomorrow from that lunch today, I was 239 in the gym after work that's pretty heavy from this morning, so much sodium in Chinese food. supper will be light probably some cottage cheese, yogurt and fruit I'm still pretty full and it's almost bed time.
 
Well I got down to 232 and I took a diet break and cruise dose for a couple weeks now, I've been selling my house and looking for my next one also broke up with my gf because she didn't want me living 15 mins away so it was too stressful and very difficult to manage a clean diet fast food and snacks are pretty common. Excuses I know but I'm still trying to live my life. I'm 237 this am I haven't been eating enough to gain 5 lbs in 2 weeks so it's probably mostly water retention. On another note I've been chilling with my transgender ex for the last week and everything in life is calming down although it's still pretty stressful I'm just going to try to maintain for a few more weeks.
 
So I'm going to take a month off everything. I'll be on trt not sure if I should stop the gh or just run like 1.5iu daily. I'm going to take the month of August off training and take a bit of time off work. I'll be moving to a new home and I'm feeling pretty burnt out. I haven't really taken a training break in over 3 years and I'm hoping to re-sensitize myself to training and gear. I'm currently 245lbs. I may do some active recovery days but I'm not sure. Here is some pictures of current physique.

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This week I will train to failure. I'm feeling pretty beat up and tired. I cut down to trt dose a few days ago. Hopefully it doesn't mess with my head too much getting softer smaller and probably fatter. I think I will find it difficult staying out of the gym. I'll probably at least go for a walk every day.
 
Near the beginning of June I took 3 weeks vacation. After that this was supposed to be a mini bulk but over 90 days I've gained 19lbs.... 3 weeks of my mom's food was worth every bit of the weight I gained there I think I was around 255 after vacation. I'm pretty fluffy but feeling super good in the gym. I can still see my abs when flexing but I have to have good lighting.

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My vacation was July not June. I increased my sodium intake and carbs a couple weeks before thinking that after I got there I'd get a natural diuretic effect from reducing sodium so some of that weight gain at the end of June was just water that never went away. My idea was I'd be really dry looking at the beach but it didn't really pan out because my diet was horrible, I remember why I was a fat kid, my parents have way too many snacks available. I didn't drink much alcohol, I did have some beers but not more than about 3 at a time, It just made mee feel super bloated. My body seems to have liked the break and I'm putting on weight and reps on all lifts every week and I haven't had a deload yet since returning late July although the first week back was just fun fluff work to ease back into a lifting routine. I'm planning a deload after next week.
 
granpa1959 said:
Swole much? Good job!
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Thanks. I really want to see how swole I can get before I get too old. I started training again 4 years ago, I'm 44 now and I figured I'd have stopped growing by now but I'm still seeing gains. I definitely grew faster in my 20s but I'm still getting the job done. I ran way higher doses back then, way beyond what id be comfortable with today.
 
On this block cycle I'm up to about 270lbs and still have abs but muscular definition i really like to have isn't there anymore. I have been focusing more volume on my weaknesses and it's starting to pay off. I measured my arms cold at 18 1/8th which is a great sign at the end of my last mass cycle it was 17 7/8ths. On this meso I started last week I'm prioritizing arms so I'm hoping to get a bit more size on them. I think I generally need to build periodization cycles for specific muscles, especially weak ones to see much gains while keeping minium volumes for the stronger ones to maintain them, well at least if I want to have the balance I want to see. I'm about as heavy as I want to get, probably going to do a bit of a fat loss phase after this meso, probably November to Christmas, being this heavy isn't much fun for me, my pants are getting tight and even breathing is more work than when I'm under 250.

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