My journey from sad to Chad.

My diet didn't get any more strict lol. Had a work lunch today and we got chinese buffet, I ate mostly meat and a small amount of noodles but I ate a lot of pork, chicken and shrimp. a free Chinese buffet is something I have a hard time saying no to but it's no big deal it's not like I'm competing I just want to look and feel good and there's nothing wrong with enjoying a delicious meal once in awhile. 232.6 this am. I bet I'll be 235 or more tomorrow from that lunch today, I was 239 in the gym after work that's pretty heavy from this morning, so much sodium in Chinese food. supper will be light probably some cottage cheese, yogurt and fruit I'm still pretty full and it's almost bed time.
 
Well I got down to 232 and I took a diet break and cruise dose for a couple weeks now, I've been selling my house and looking for my next one also broke up with my gf because she didn't want me living 15 mins away so it was too stressful and very difficult to manage a clean diet fast food and snacks are pretty common. Excuses I know but I'm still trying to live my life. I'm 237 this am I haven't been eating enough to gain 5 lbs in 2 weeks so it's probably mostly water retention. On another note I've been chilling with my transgender ex for the last week and everything in life is calming down although it's still pretty stressful I'm just going to try to maintain for a few more weeks.
 
So I'm going to take a month off everything. I'll be on trt not sure if I should stop the gh or just run like 1.5iu daily. I'm going to take the month of August off training and take a bit of time off work. I'll be moving to a new home and I'm feeling pretty burnt out. I haven't really taken a training break in over 3 years and I'm hoping to re-sensitize myself to training and gear. I'm currently 245lbs. I may do some active recovery days but I'm not sure. Here is some pictures of current physique.

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This week I will train to failure. I'm feeling pretty beat up and tired. I cut down to trt dose a few days ago. Hopefully it doesn't mess with my head too much getting softer smaller and probably fatter. I think I will find it difficult staying out of the gym. I'll probably at least go for a walk every day.
 
Near the beginning of June I took 3 weeks vacation. After that this was supposed to be a mini bulk but over 90 days I've gained 19lbs.... 3 weeks of my mom's food was worth every bit of the weight I gained there I think I was around 255 after vacation. I'm pretty fluffy but feeling super good in the gym. I can still see my abs when flexing but I have to have good lighting.

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My vacation was July not June. I increased my sodium intake and carbs a couple weeks before thinking that after I got there I'd get a natural diuretic effect from reducing sodium so some of that weight gain at the end of June was just water that never went away. My idea was I'd be really dry looking at the beach but it didn't really pan out because my diet was horrible, I remember why I was a fat kid, my parents have way too many snacks available. I didn't drink much alcohol, I did have some beers but not more than about 3 at a time, It just made mee feel super bloated. My body seems to have liked the break and I'm putting on weight and reps on all lifts every week and I haven't had a deload yet since returning late July although the first week back was just fun fluff work to ease back into a lifting routine. I'm planning a deload after next week.
 
granpa1959 said:
Swole much? Good job!
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Thanks. I really want to see how swole I can get before I get too old. I started training again 4 years ago, I'm 44 now and I figured I'd have stopped growing by now but I'm still seeing gains. I definitely grew faster in my 20s but I'm still getting the job done. I ran way higher doses back then, way beyond what id be comfortable with today.
 
On this block cycle I'm up to about 270lbs and still have abs but muscular definition i really like to have isn't there anymore. I have been focusing more volume on my weaknesses and it's starting to pay off. I measured my arms cold at 18 1/8th which is a great sign at the end of my last mass cycle it was 17 7/8ths. On this meso I started last week I'm prioritizing arms so I'm hoping to get a bit more size on them. I think I generally need to build periodization cycles for specific muscles, especially weak ones to see much gains while keeping minium volumes for the stronger ones to maintain them, well at least if I want to have the balance I want to see. I'm about as heavy as I want to get, probably going to do a bit of a fat loss phase after this meso, probably November to Christmas, being this heavy isn't much fun for me, my pants are getting tight and even breathing is more work than when I'm under 250.

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I had a rough winter, not that I'm trying to make excuses but it wasn't fun. Feels bad man. I ran out of gh sometime in October or November and decided I was just going to drop down to trt only for health reasons I figured it would be good to spend some time with normal hormone levels after years of mostly on. The synergy of hormonal decline and winter darkness cold etc was a crash for me. I was ok going into Christmas but my libido was low (I briefly thought I'd go back on some low doses but changed my.mind) I was enjoying having a few drinks here and there, nothing crazy but regular alcohol and inconsistent gym routine and poor diet. Come around to spring I'm about 285lbs and kinda fat, not like my coworkers but still kinda fat. I'm back on a very mild cycle my 120mg trt plus a little bit of test p Tren a mast p. Its some pre blended ugl stuff. like 45mg of each weekly plus 2iu of GH and about 5 weeks in I'm feeling quite good, pretty strong, biceps vain starting showing back up but I need to lose some fat like 30 lbs or so. I'm pretty disappointed in myself but it's like that sometimes and I'm not too beat up about it. I got a nasty cold 2 weeks ago and that week I didn't train. My bodyweight hasn't really changed although I'm eating pretty clean in these 5 weeks but my pants are fitting better again so there's shit going on under the hood so to speak. It feels difficult to get back into my routine but it does feel good to do it. Oh and my libido did mostly recover by April but now it's back to healthy sex drive. Anyway that's why I haven't really been posting on here lately. Part of me.wants to take pictures for transformation records but I don't want to save a record of how I look ATM. I didn't stop going to the gym I just stopped being consistent and I don't think I've lost much muscle mass my arms measured like 18.25 now theyre closer to 19, some of that is fat but with lots of calories and low training volume I probably mostly maintained. Week 1 I could do 3 but now I can do 6 strict full ROM chin ups at 285 it will be nice to see that increase to like 12 when I get lean. I love adding chin ups to my weight loss phases because they just get easier. Anyway this is my update I guess, next one will be better.
 
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Negan said:
I had a rough winter, not that I'm trying to make excuses but it wasn't fun. Feels bad man. I ran out of gh sometime in October or November and decided I was just going to drop down to trt only for health reasons I figured it would be good to spend some time with normal hormone levels after years of mostly on. The synergy of hormonal decline and winter darkness cold etc was a crash for me. I was ok going into Christmas but my libido was low (I briefly thought I'd go back on some low doses but changed my.mind) I was enjoying having a few drinks here and there, nothing crazy but regular alcohol and inconsistent gym routine and poor diet. Come around to spring I'm about 285lbs and kinda fat, not like my coworkers but still kinda fat. I'm back on a very mild cycle my 120mg trt plus a little bit of test p Tren a mast p. Its some pre blended ugl stuff. like 45mg of each weekly plus 2iu of GH and about 5 weeks in I'm feeling quite good, pretty strong, biceps vain starting showing back up but I need to lose some fat like 30 lbs or so. I'm pretty disappointed in myself but it's like that sometimes and I'm not too beat up about it. I got a nasty cold 2 weeks ago and that week I didn't train. My bodyweight hasn't really changed although I'm eating pretty clean in these 5 weeks but my pants are fitting better again so there's shit going on under the hood so to speak. It feels difficult to get back into my routine but it does feel good to do it. Oh and my libido did mostly recover by April but now it's back to healthy sex drive. Anyway that's why I haven't really been posting on here lately. Part of me.wants to take pictures for transformation records but I don't want to save a record of how I look ATM. I didn't stop going to the gym I just stopped being consistent and I don't think I've lost much muscle mass my arms measured like 18.25 now theyre closer to 19, some of that is fat but with lots of calories and low training volume I probably mostly maintained. Week 1 I could do 3 but now I can do 6 strict full ROM chin ups at 285 it will be nice to see that increase to like 12 when I get lean. I love adding chin ups to my weight loss phases because they just get easier. Anyway this is my update I guess, next one will be better.
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Just looking through your past posts looks like you've been capable of making huge changes in the past sir. All the information you gained through years of training plus that muscle mass still being there. This will be tough, but not as yough as what you've done in the past. You got this👍.

Ps. Yes I know I'm a cheesy old bastard. Can't help it🤷
 
T77 said:
Just looking through your past posts looks like you've been capable of making huge changes in the past sir. All the information you gained through years of training plus that muscle mass still being there. This will be tough, but not as yough as what you've done in the past. You got this👍.

Ps. Yes I know I'm a cheesy old bastard. Can't help it🤷
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Oh ya, it's not like I'm feeling hopeless or anything I just feel disappointment is all. I kinda feel like it I wrote it down here I'm kinda committed to achieving some results. Thanks for the encouragement. In the past I've seen people going from shit diet to clean and gain weight for a couple weeks then rapid loss for a few more, like somehow the diet change causes water retention and I'm kinda hoping that's what going on rn I also kinda expect that since I did increase my androgen levels a bit, still pretty mild but I'm probably holding some extra water too.
 
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