JOURNAL: A Girl on Gear
- Thread starter German89
- Start date
I took 25mg. My timing was off. I missed the train. Gay!
So, I've been in bed since 7.. listening to stories until after 8. I dont know what happend. Panic attack. Throat started closing in, balling, I took a lorazepam. I feel better.
Tomorrow. I dont want to take the pill again because, I for sure have to be up at 315am for work. So, I will give the pill another shot Wednesday night. Or whatever night I dont work the next day.
So, I've been in bed since 7.. listening to stories until after 8. I dont know what happend. Panic attack. Throat started closing in, balling, I took a lorazepam. I feel better.
Tomorrow. I dont want to take the pill again because, I for sure have to be up at 315am for work. So, I will give the pill another shot Wednesday night. Or whatever night I dont work the next day.
Sorry about the panic, it is can be extremely scary and I’m glad you have the Ativan to help. My dad has the same med for the same issue and it is a great medication to help him.
Trazadone hangovers don’t last that long, or at least they didn’t for me, maybe a few days and then my body adjusted. I was in my late 20’s at the time, 200 lbs approx, and taking 50 mg’s.
I suspect if you take it regularly, it will do its thing and you won’t have a hangover once your body adjusts or at least it should.
Any idea what set the panic attack off?
Take care GR
Trazadone hangovers don’t last that long, or at least they didn’t for me, maybe a few days and then my body adjusted. I was in my late 20’s at the time, 200 lbs approx, and taking 50 mg’s.
I suspect if you take it regularly, it will do its thing and you won’t have a hangover once your body adjusts or at least it should.
Any idea what set the panic attack off?
Take care GR
Over thinking my feelings. Things I did in the past. Things I currently do. It's a vicious cycle.
I didnt really wake up with a hang over with 25mg. I over slept because, I didnt crash til about 10pm. I took the ativan and a edible. Tonight, I think I'll just take a edible. These are 1:1 ratio thc and cbd. I dont like the high but, it makes my body relax, and numbs the mind enough for me to just read or watch a show and listen to a story.
Am I truly an anxious person? (I know I have my moments and I can control it but before bed, forget it.) I know others experience over thinking but, to the point of a panic attack? Why cant I shut my brain off?
Anyways, finished my 45 mins of cardio. I shall go home and get some laundry done. I have a few errands and things to do to get ready for my little work week. And I have a kids bday part too.
Oh. And since i shelter myself, i was informed yesterday about teachers going on strike? So, that's awesome.
I didnt really wake up with a hang over with 25mg. I over slept because, I didnt crash til about 10pm. I took the ativan and a edible. Tonight, I think I'll just take a edible. These are 1:1 ratio thc and cbd. I dont like the high but, it makes my body relax, and numbs the mind enough for me to just read or watch a show and listen to a story.
Am I truly an anxious person? (I know I have my moments and I can control it but before bed, forget it.) I know others experience over thinking but, to the point of a panic attack? Why cant I shut my brain off?
Anyways, finished my 45 mins of cardio. I shall go home and get some laundry done. I have a few errands and things to do to get ready for my little work week. And I have a kids bday part too.
Oh. And since i shelter myself, i was informed yesterday about teachers going on strike? So, that's awesome.
Been a bit since I checked in.
Update time.
P.S. Thank god those teachers didn't go on strike but, the long weekend kinda messed me up. Son and I did sushi for thanksgiving. God, i felt like shit all night. Now I see the importance of fasting. I feel much better when I fast. I had all that sushi. I stopped eating at like 7pm. My sleep was awful. I devoted to fast 16hrs. 330am when I got up, I still felt like shit. I felt like shit til about 8am. Then the fast became a struggle but, I stayed dedicated til 11am tuesday. It was about 9am when I started to feel better.
Tuesday, I had my follow up on my knee MRI. I forget what he said, arthritis? He prescribed a Knee Brace. I will probably go do that Monday.
I hit all muscle groups already this week. Strength is down. Which, is expected. But, workouts have been good.
I did not do cardio yesterday morning. I try and do 1hr sessions on my days off. I got my period, AGAIN! Every two fuckin weeks, this is getting out of control. Friday or Saturday I am going to try and get some blood work done. I called the gyno because, I have some other hormonal issues. I don't see him for another three weeks. Figured I'll do blood work while I wait on his ass.
I am back at 150lbs - I think. Could still have period bloat? I'll weigh myself again in a few days. I've rearranged some of my macros. Adding some carbs back in and some proteins as well. Calories are just under 1800 calories. 135g C, 61g F, 154g P. I think I will continue with 16hr fast.
Monday, I have to go to the cancer center. I hope I have the entire day off from work. If I do, I will call my family doc about sleeping pills. The anti depressant was a no go for me. I've been doing okay with half a loraz, 100mg OTC sleeping aid. I only took 100mg of OTC sleepers last night, awful sleep. Tonight I will do, .5mg of loraz, and 100mg OTC. I need a good quality sleep - back to work tomorrow! Work is slowing down so, I'll probably only be working 3 days a week which, is okay with me.
I think that's about it.
I don't remember but, did I mention sperm donor going to jail?
Update time.
P.S. Thank god those teachers didn't go on strike but, the long weekend kinda messed me up. Son and I did sushi for thanksgiving. God, i felt like shit all night. Now I see the importance of fasting. I feel much better when I fast. I had all that sushi. I stopped eating at like 7pm. My sleep was awful. I devoted to fast 16hrs. 330am when I got up, I still felt like shit. I felt like shit til about 8am. Then the fast became a struggle but, I stayed dedicated til 11am tuesday. It was about 9am when I started to feel better.
Tuesday, I had my follow up on my knee MRI. I forget what he said, arthritis? He prescribed a Knee Brace. I will probably go do that Monday.
I hit all muscle groups already this week. Strength is down. Which, is expected. But, workouts have been good.
I did not do cardio yesterday morning. I try and do 1hr sessions on my days off. I got my period, AGAIN! Every two fuckin weeks, this is getting out of control. Friday or Saturday I am going to try and get some blood work done. I called the gyno because, I have some other hormonal issues. I don't see him for another three weeks. Figured I'll do blood work while I wait on his ass.
I am back at 150lbs - I think. Could still have period bloat? I'll weigh myself again in a few days. I've rearranged some of my macros. Adding some carbs back in and some proteins as well. Calories are just under 1800 calories. 135g C, 61g F, 154g P. I think I will continue with 16hr fast.
Monday, I have to go to the cancer center. I hope I have the entire day off from work. If I do, I will call my family doc about sleeping pills. The anti depressant was a no go for me. I've been doing okay with half a loraz, 100mg OTC sleeping aid. I only took 100mg of OTC sleepers last night, awful sleep. Tonight I will do, .5mg of loraz, and 100mg OTC. I need a good quality sleep - back to work tomorrow! Work is slowing down so, I'll probably only be working 3 days a week which, is okay with me.
I think that's about it.
I don't remember but, did I mention sperm donor going to jail?
Lots going on - is sperm donor the dad? Stupid question I know but I only started following your thread a while back.
Knee braces are tough to get used to - my father had one for years before he had a knee replacement.
Good thoughts going in your direction!
Knee braces are tough to get used to - my father had one for years before he had a knee replacement.
Good thoughts going in your direction!
yes sperm donor is my ex, and the father of my child. lol
I haven't even had a chance to get the knee brace. I hope today I do.
SOO.. Yesterday was.. Very. interesting?
With the ovary/Fallopian tube removal I was sent to the cancer center. My best friend came for moral support and, honestly, I don't ask enough questions when I don't understand. Sometimes I just sit there with a blank stare and say, Okay. (Right, not good). Thank god she came.
Get there, we go through my medical history, and then I finally get the news. The cyst they removed was a tumor. The cancer center doctor was happy that he removed my ovary but, since I still have cells, I have to watch that the other ovary doesn't grow a tumor. *eye roll*. I have a 1 in four or five chance of another one appearing. If another one comes back, he will personally operate and remove my other ovary. He doesn't want to have to do that since, it'll drive me into early menopause so, he's glad the doctor left me with 1 ovary.
None of it is hormone related. Which, was really my main concern. (you know, my hobby is important to me). He didn't really want to say, yeah go ahead, run gear but said, nothing is hormone related.
No real answer to why I am getting my period every two weeks. if in four weeks it doesn't smarten up, I have to see my OBGYN. I do see him in about two or three weeks, I can't remember, I'll tell him then. I don't want to go on birth control.
I think that's about it. Other than my hunger being out of this world. past two days have been super high in calories. today, i will keep everything under control, i added more calories and didn't do cardio for two days. i am at roughly 1800 calories for this week. i'll see how that goes now. current weight 147lbs. i'll be happy to stick around there for a bit. not trying to gain, not lose, just maintain and have my strength come back.
anyways, i gotta check out. my son is driving me crazy at the moment and i can't focus on this.
sleep is still a issue.
I haven't even had a chance to get the knee brace. I hope today I do.
SOO.. Yesterday was.. Very. interesting?
With the ovary/Fallopian tube removal I was sent to the cancer center. My best friend came for moral support and, honestly, I don't ask enough questions when I don't understand. Sometimes I just sit there with a blank stare and say, Okay. (Right, not good). Thank god she came.
Get there, we go through my medical history, and then I finally get the news. The cyst they removed was a tumor. The cancer center doctor was happy that he removed my ovary but, since I still have cells, I have to watch that the other ovary doesn't grow a tumor. *eye roll*. I have a 1 in four or five chance of another one appearing. If another one comes back, he will personally operate and remove my other ovary. He doesn't want to have to do that since, it'll drive me into early menopause so, he's glad the doctor left me with 1 ovary.
None of it is hormone related. Which, was really my main concern. (you know, my hobby is important to me). He didn't really want to say, yeah go ahead, run gear but said, nothing is hormone related.
No real answer to why I am getting my period every two weeks. if in four weeks it doesn't smarten up, I have to see my OBGYN. I do see him in about two or three weeks, I can't remember, I'll tell him then. I don't want to go on birth control.
I think that's about it. Other than my hunger being out of this world. past two days have been super high in calories. today, i will keep everything under control, i added more calories and didn't do cardio for two days. i am at roughly 1800 calories for this week. i'll see how that goes now. current weight 147lbs. i'll be happy to stick around there for a bit. not trying to gain, not lose, just maintain and have my strength come back.
anyways, i gotta check out. my son is driving me crazy at the moment and i can't focus on this.
sleep is still a issue.
I am not a fan of trazodone. I have tried it, it didn't do anything for me. My favourite sleeper is nitrazapam, however, if taken too often u will become physiologically dependent on it. So not good. Plus its hard to get from the Dr because it's a controlled substance. Highly wanted on the street, drug addicts like it to relax them so they can sleep and it helps with withdrawals. Anyways, best sleeper to try would be zopiclone (brand name immovane). Take 5mg or 7.5mg before bed u will fall asleep and not have any hang over effect in the AM. I recently found out that u can take 5mg long term with no damage to your body or brain. U will have a dependency (not the same as with the benzos) if u take it long term but it won't harm u. A long term dose of 7.5mg has been shown to affect memory in people later in life, so that's why only 5mg should be use if u take it everyday. Plus zopliclone is not a controlled substance so it may be easier to get from the Dr.
I'm trying to get those. I know I'm dependent on a sleeper. I dont care. Sick of guzzling OTC sleepers. It's getting expensive.
So. Fingers crossed I can get them this week.
Everything else is good. Strength is coming back. Still doing my a.m. fasted cardio. Still fasting 16hrs. Still 150lbs. So. Good. Maybe in a few weeks I can pin some npp again. I'm gonna tryyyy to squeeze in some time to get fitted for the brace. Ordering knee sleeves this week as well.
Fasted cardio is the best fat burner out there! I have done so much faster cardio. Its awesome! Keep it up!
I love npp, its my favourite thing to run. I feel great on it. When i was competing and at my strongest the most npp i ran was 100mg a week and I stacked it with 33mg of test prop a week. That's the most i ever ran at one time and for me that was all I needed. My usual dose is 20mg of test prop and 50mg of npp. That's enough for me to feel good. I really like the 2 together. I always liked taking my shots every other day as well. Keeps your hormones stable.
What knee sleeves r u planning on getting? I love my knee sleeves.
I hate otc sleeper, one makes me drowsy in the morning and one of them gives me really bad nightmares.
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Have you by chance tried niacin for sleep?Not the no flush niacinamide.Try a test dose of 125 mg first time.Too much will cause you to itch.Shoppers.
Do you have any of those studies you mention. If yes, please attach the link. The info you mention is contrary to my understanding of the drug but I could be wrong.
hence why I never replied and won’t.
miss you all!
Good Morning y'all!
Just finished with 45 mins of cardio. I am surprised at how committed I have been with it. Even if it's twenty mins. I'm usually up at 322am, get to the gym by four, cardio, and leave for work around 505am. My shift runs from 530 to about two. My hours have been cut because, it's getting slow so, i'm not busting my balls as hard right now. Nice break before Christmas but, the pay cheques are going to suck ass.
So, currently, not running anything. I am waiting on this one period and will probably hop back on. Low dose test, like 30mg/wk. see how i respond. play with that for a few weeks. Now. we all know it's that time of year. Diet gets thrown out the window due to holiday treats. I am allowing myself one cheat day a week. until January. I am keeping my macros about the same, as they have been. I might add in another 100 calories, if I continue with the cardio. I want to gain a little more size so, goal would be strength mixed in with some volume.
SBD sleeves have been a life saver. I use the one on my left knee during cardio. Honestly, best decision ever! Thank God, I grabbed those. Question; can I wash them? Just hang dry?
Sleeping... I have good nights and bad nights. I've been dealing with carpel tunnel. Now some times it gets so bad, it wakes me up. and I wanna cry. Some nights, i'm so out cold that, i don't feel them so.. Progress with the sleep but, not really lol. Just been using lorazapams 1mg a night. with OTC sleepers. It works for now. I've aslo been using the moshi app for stories. kid stories but, i love them. so, whatever, it works. They put me in a happy place and my son likes them too. Money well spent.
Sperm donor. Is now let off not paying child support since he's in jail... he doesn't have to pay. Fuckin dick. Isn't on work release but, a school/therapy release. Hate the man. Worthless fuck. I've been blowing him off the past couple of times he's asked to talk to our son. I know. I know. I shouldn't but. What he's doing affects my son and, I am not okay with it. Pay support. Help him. Then you can talk to him. I don't care. I've had it with the scum bag.
I think that's about it. I gotta get on my phone to upload a current picture.
Just finished with 45 mins of cardio. I am surprised at how committed I have been with it. Even if it's twenty mins. I'm usually up at 322am, get to the gym by four, cardio, and leave for work around 505am. My shift runs from 530 to about two. My hours have been cut because, it's getting slow so, i'm not busting my balls as hard right now. Nice break before Christmas but, the pay cheques are going to suck ass.
So, currently, not running anything. I am waiting on this one period and will probably hop back on. Low dose test, like 30mg/wk. see how i respond. play with that for a few weeks. Now. we all know it's that time of year. Diet gets thrown out the window due to holiday treats. I am allowing myself one cheat day a week. until January. I am keeping my macros about the same, as they have been. I might add in another 100 calories, if I continue with the cardio. I want to gain a little more size so, goal would be strength mixed in with some volume.
SBD sleeves have been a life saver. I use the one on my left knee during cardio. Honestly, best decision ever! Thank God, I grabbed those. Question; can I wash them? Just hang dry?
Sleeping... I have good nights and bad nights. I've been dealing with carpel tunnel. Now some times it gets so bad, it wakes me up. and I wanna cry. Some nights, i'm so out cold that, i don't feel them so.. Progress with the sleep but, not really lol. Just been using lorazapams 1mg a night. with OTC sleepers. It works for now. I've aslo been using the moshi app for stories. kid stories but, i love them. so, whatever, it works. They put me in a happy place and my son likes them too. Money well spent.
Sperm donor. Is now let off not paying child support since he's in jail... he doesn't have to pay. Fuckin dick. Isn't on work release but, a school/therapy release. Hate the man. Worthless fuck. I've been blowing him off the past couple of times he's asked to talk to our son. I know. I know. I shouldn't but. What he's doing affects my son and, I am not okay with it. Pay support. Help him. Then you can talk to him. I don't care. I've had it with the scum bag.
I think that's about it. I gotta get on my phone to upload a current picture.