Men versus female sex drive as we get older .

Oldguyjiujitsu said:
Menopause definitely has a hard impact on many women's libido. Impacted my wife for sure and hrt did not help much. And i agree men TRT exasperates.

Sorry, no solution other than empathy, mismatched libido is a real issue for many after the age 50
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Menopause , and they get to comfortable in the relationship and loose sex interest, its just how most of them age that way, not necesarly that she wants to cheat on you...but her biological clock could be fucked up!
 
animal-inside said:
I firmly believe its a responsibility of mine to keep myself in shape, good hygeiene, good self care etc to the point that my wife still wants me. It's sort of like your saying I think? If other strsnge women my age and younger desire me, then I know I am fullfilling that part where I keep myself put together enough that I am still desiable to my wife. I think its awful if one person in a relationship lets themselve go to the point they simply are undisierable by the other person.. Most times though, it seems like both people let themselves go eqaully..

All this being said, I know for me that I must be attraccted to someone physically and personaility/intelligence to be attracted to them.. I also need to feel like I should respect my partner in order to be attracted.. I coulnd't be with a women I didn't respoect..

All of this I feel I need from a women as well. I need them to maintain themselves to the poitn they are still attractive to me.

I think its similar to what your saying??
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I agree with this but It's way easier for guys. I think we are hard wired to be good at physical training so we can hunt and gather and be warriors. I say the exact same thing to my wife we need to stay attractive and desirable for each other. It's funny because it's not really a shallow idea based on looks It's more a health thing. If they exercise, eat right and look after them selves they will be healthier and a nice consequence of being healthy is looking good. Someone who let's them self go and doesn't care about their appearance will ultimately be mentally unhealthier and usually physically unhealthier as well.
 
animal-inside said:
I firmly believe its a responsibility of mine to keep myself in shape, good hygeiene, good self care etc to the point that my wife still wants me. It's sort of like your saying I think? If other strsnge women my age and younger desire me, then I know I am fullfilling that part where I keep myself put together enough that I am still desiable to my wife. I think its awful if one person in a relationship lets themselve go to the point they simply are undisierable by the other person.. Most times though, it seems like both people let themselves go eqaully..

All this being said, I know for me that I must be attraccted to someone physically and personaility/intelligence to be attracted to them.. I also need to feel like I should respect my partner in order to be attracted.. I coulnd't be with a women I didn't respoect..

All of this I feel I need from a women as well. I need them to maintain themselves to the poitn they are still attractive to me.

I think its similar to what your saying??
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All of that is important but you have a lot under that umbrella. I tend to put a strong focus on the sexual aspect of our relationship as I feel if that fades then the rest will follow, and I have many examples of this to pull from.

If the day comes that she is no longer into me sexually then I'm out, as we will just be friends at that point, and we still can be, but I want more than that from a partner and I make this very clear so that if/when the time comes there are no surprises.

I edited this as I rambled on a bit...
 
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Bigbear said:
Interesting to think about though, if the tables were turned and it was us who couldn't perform, how would the wives handle it.
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She'd go on a wholesome girls trip to Las Vegas for the weekend.

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Bigbear said:
Interesting to think about though, if the tables were turned and it was us who couldn't perform, how would the wives handle it.
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THe error in that thinknig is we can NOT have sex unless we are stimulated, not the case for a women.

It's sort of sad, but sometimes my wife will have zero interest in me, but she says throw some lube on and give'r.. She has zero interested, but usually after a few mins of me doing my thing, she's in the mood and enjoys it.
 
animal-inside said:
THe error in that thinknig is we can NOT have sex unless we are stimulated, not the case for a women.

It's sort of sad, but sometimes my wife will have zero interest in me, but she says throw some lube on and give'r.. She has zero interested, but usually after a few mins of me doing my thing, she's in the mood and enjoys it.
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Yea my wife's like that sometimes too. I'm kind of blessed being a Christian in the Bible it says to never hold out or deprive your partner of sex unless both people have agreed on it. I feel for you though man I've been talking to my wife since reading these posts and planning different senerios for the future incase we go through the same thing.
 
Taureau said:
the only way this gets fixed is through lots of two way totally honest communications she needs to know how much this upsets you. you have a need no different then the need for food and air to breath. she understand the importance of those needs and needs explained by you the importance of the need for sex for you. if she is unwilling to meet those needs in you ask her what does she suggest you do. don't threaten her but find out what she thinks you should do about this.


On a side note historically how was her sex drive. if she had a good one in the past and nothing now I would watch for signs she is stepping out.
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Unfortunately menopuase is a sex killer for women and that's what happened
 
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