I found with my grandson just repeating the changes I wanted in him like hundreds of times has worked, but that will work on most.
For example:
My grandson used to only talk about dinosaurs or godzilla, both he knew every exact detail, would study them intently with any spare time. He wanted to learn to draw, but was going to give up. I told him over and over that if he put the same effort into dinosaurs with all the research he did, into drawing, with practice he would become good at drawing. Well after repeating that like 40 times over the course of a few months (sometimes it’s hard to fit it into a conversation without looking obvious) he can now draw pretty good.
He used to flap his arms when he was young, he looked handicapped. I instead steered him towards other actions that didn’t look so “handicapped” to use to focus. Like pacing, or humming to himself.
Guess who doesn’t flap his arms anymore.
As far as his non stop godzilla or dinosaur talk both my wife and I explain over and over that he needs to listen to other people and engage in what they like as well, or he will have a tough time keeping friends. Well that has been fixed.
What I am working on now is his motivation, and memory/finishing tasks without being prompted.
I have found that we all had these issues as children and it needed to be taught to us, some just take longer to get there than others.
I came to this conclusion because of my father. He would repeat things until you knew it off by heart. One of his favorites was nothing was going to be handed you on a silver platter. I heard that so much it became ingrained.
My butcher was always unaware, his mom would constantly say “focus” in a really annoying way. He now has no issues focusing.
But as you know the power of suggestion is very real. Tell a kid he’s a loser every day and he will likely become a loser. Tell a kid that if he practices and keeps trying he will eventually succeed, well you know what will likely happen.
Funny part is I use the same methods on my staff. I take these poor kids that fall between the cracks and help them in their way, become damn good workers. Sometimes all they need is self confidence, sometimes just being told they are doing a great job, and to not worry if they are making more mistake than others, that eventually it will click so keep trying.
