Now that momma has cut me off old stu is on the prowl, First action taken was buying a new pair of underwear. then signed up for tinder and then found out I really do not know how to take a good dick pic. I was just not sure do you take a pic when its all mad or do you wait and take a pic in the resting state? If all mad and the first time they see it is when my magic stick is resting do they think I mislead them. I just had some many questions and then stu remember the advice @The Old Guy gave him years ago which was if you do not know the answer google it. And so I did just that and now want to share my research with my fellow dick pic takers )
How to take a dick pic
This is the idea behind the iconic Tumblr account, Critique My Dick Pic. Maybe you have heard of it? If not, it’s precisely what it sounds like: A long scroll of real dick pics, lovingly pored over by an internet curator and awarded a grade. All pics are to be submitted only by the owners of said dicks and are awarded an A through F, according to the blog’s subjective sliding scale.
Freelance writer Madeleine Holden launched CMDP five years ago, after noticing that the general quality of dick pics was not only “appalling,” but also “artless and dull.”
“Not only are they usually sent unsolicited, which is hostile and awful,” she tells the Daily Dot. “I started CMDP as a kind of public service, to elevate the form and also to kick off a discussion about consent, nude sharing culture, and human sexuality.”
Holden says the goal is not to critique the dick itself—this is not a literal dick-measuring contest—or the sender’s body. Rather, it’s to analyze and grade the stylistic elements of the photo, with an eye toward teaching us all how to make a more appealing, respectful, sex-positive nude. And to emphasize one thing above all: A good dick pic only works when the receiver asked or agreed to see it.
So, why do people send dick pics?
Science suggests that penis-havers send dick pics because they may miscalculate the recipient’s interest level. These senders often overestimate the recipient’s interest in a surprise photo of their throbbing erection and thus reveal some interesting things about the overinflated nature of their egos. Damningly enough, evidence also suggests that people who frequently send unsolicited dick pics tend to chart higher levels of narcissism, psychopathy, sadism, and Machiavellian traits.
These stats do not surprise Holden. Although all the nudes displayed on her site are nudes she solicited (she invites dick-havers to send submissions to [email protected] and will take a photo down if someone requests it), she says those who fire off non-consensual dick pics display certain qualities. “My instinct is that they’re the type of people who are hostile to consent, autonomy, and probably viewing women as fully human,” Holden says.
If you’ve ever received an unsolicited dick pic, you may have wondered: Why did this person think I wanted to be bombarded with a close-up of their junk in the middle of my morning all-hands meeting? Why did they think I wanted to see their shiny shaft on my phone screen before I’ve seen it in real life? Who is this Tinder date, and how many others received this nude today?
Given dick pic senders’ murky motives, a sensitive study of the medium seems overdue. To achieve the phallic clarity you want and deserve, we asked Holden how to take a good dick pic. Here’s what she had to say.
How to take a dick pic
This is the idea behind the iconic Tumblr account, Critique My Dick Pic. Maybe you have heard of it? If not, it’s precisely what it sounds like: A long scroll of real dick pics, lovingly pored over by an internet curator and awarded a grade. All pics are to be submitted only by the owners of said dicks and are awarded an A through F, according to the blog’s subjective sliding scale.
Freelance writer Madeleine Holden launched CMDP five years ago, after noticing that the general quality of dick pics was not only “appalling,” but also “artless and dull.”
“Not only are they usually sent unsolicited, which is hostile and awful,” she tells the Daily Dot. “I started CMDP as a kind of public service, to elevate the form and also to kick off a discussion about consent, nude sharing culture, and human sexuality.”
Holden says the goal is not to critique the dick itself—this is not a literal dick-measuring contest—or the sender’s body. Rather, it’s to analyze and grade the stylistic elements of the photo, with an eye toward teaching us all how to make a more appealing, respectful, sex-positive nude. And to emphasize one thing above all: A good dick pic only works when the receiver asked or agreed to see it.
So, why do people send dick pics?
Science suggests that penis-havers send dick pics because they may miscalculate the recipient’s interest level. These senders often overestimate the recipient’s interest in a surprise photo of their throbbing erection and thus reveal some interesting things about the overinflated nature of their egos. Damningly enough, evidence also suggests that people who frequently send unsolicited dick pics tend to chart higher levels of narcissism, psychopathy, sadism, and Machiavellian traits.
These stats do not surprise Holden. Although all the nudes displayed on her site are nudes she solicited (she invites dick-havers to send submissions to [email protected] and will take a photo down if someone requests it), she says those who fire off non-consensual dick pics display certain qualities. “My instinct is that they’re the type of people who are hostile to consent, autonomy, and probably viewing women as fully human,” Holden says.
If you’ve ever received an unsolicited dick pic, you may have wondered: Why did this person think I wanted to be bombarded with a close-up of their junk in the middle of my morning all-hands meeting? Why did they think I wanted to see their shiny shaft on my phone screen before I’ve seen it in real life? Who is this Tinder date, and how many others received this nude today?
Given dick pic senders’ murky motives, a sensitive study of the medium seems overdue. To achieve the phallic clarity you want and deserve, we asked Holden how to take a good dick pic. Here’s what she had to say.