Comebacks insults

Haha.
“I would say it behind your back but my cars only got half a tank of gas!”
This show would be canceled after one episode in this pussified world we are now living in.

That's exactly what I was thinking when I watched this. Oh my! Times sure have changed. It was a pretty funny show though back in the day.

Gotta love Al Bundy. :)

OD
 
Dude says, "man she has had a lot of dick, I wouldn't go in there".
I say, I will push her cherry back so far she can use it for a tail light.

Dude says , "so how does it feel fucking that pussy where I have been?"
I say, once I got past the used part she is pretty damn tight.

Best part of you ran down the crack of your mommas ass and ended up as a stain on the sheets.

One of my guys comes up to me and says..."hey what do you want me to do now man? I finished that last job it was easy."
I say "do you want a hard job or a soft job?"
He says a soft job please.
I say as I open my zipper, "Here is a soft job, work at it until it gets hard lil fella"
I have more, a lot more....lol
 
Sitting with some fellas in a bar, they are complaining all the girls have wedding rings on. I say, the ring doesn't cover the hole boys, just makes it a little harder to get into....lol
 
Was telling my buddy about telling a girl I thought she was cute and she says she had a boyfriend. My response was just “doesn’t mean I can’t tell you you’re cute does it? Just take the compliment and have a good day”
My buddy says “have you heard the math test line?” “No” says I. He says “when a girl says she has a boyfriend, say yeah and I’ve got a math test” when she goes “huh?” You say “oh sorry I thought we were talking about things we can cheat on”
 
Your face is fine but you need a bag over that personality
May you run out of toilet paper when you need it most.
The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s butt and wait.
Your hair looks great! How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that?
Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out?

You’ll never be even half the man your mother is. My fav
 
Your face is fine but you need a bag over that personality
May you run out of toilet paper when you need it most.
The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s butt and wait.
Your hair looks great! How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that?
Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out?

You’ll never be even half the man your mother is. My fav
That last one totally sounds like an Irish one.
 
I was in a meeting with my staff. I had made some adjustments to the way we do work after meeting with my team.
A couple of negative guys start their whining about how we have never done it that way, and how we have always done it this way instead.

I said you know, I could walk on water boys and you would still point and say "t
look, that fucker can't swim".
True story...lol
 
My brother and I were heading out of town to a long job. As I was driving we got to the border of the province. He licked his wedding ring finger and pulled off his wedding ring.
I asked WTF are you doing.
He said "hey man, once you leave your home area code the marriage license is null and void".

lol
 
When I was young, I would ask snobby chicks if they wanted to dance, if they said no, I'd say "I guess I'll have to give your dad his 5 bucks back" 😆
 
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